“I love you and I just don’t want to lose you,” Melinda said. “You’re not my mother! Stop telling me what to do!” Jamie hollered. Overpowered by fatigue and grief, Melinda was prepared to submit to her sister’s demand and put an end to this fierce dispute. Reluctantly, she averted her gaze from her fiery, piercing eyes and turned to her own thoughts for comfort. She tried, not without effort, to conjure up memories of the days when they had shared a vanilla ice cream, a heartfelt laughter, and, most unforgettable of all, that special bond. Before their father died of heart attack, the family of four had lived in a little humble cottage out in the woods. Their father had been a potato farmer, and during times of low harvest or drought, the four of them would gather around the small but cozy fireplace in their home and sing all the songs that had come to their minds, sing to their hearts’ content, sing to drown out the growling of their empty stomachs. Due to the family’s lack of income, Melinda and Jamie had learned the art of sharing at a very early age; and with the absence of toys and other forms of entertainment, they had spent most of their childhood days reading stories to each other from worn-out books, stealing ice cream from the corner store, and dressing up as each other. Born with a great ear for music and a beautiful voice, Melinda had taught herself to sing and play all kinds of instruments.
A smile appeared on her contorted face as her gaze rested on the jambe drum, which was her first and only birthday present from her father. During one of their many disputes, Jamie had thrown her drum out of the window as an expression of her resentment. Even though the drum was broken, Melinda still kept it, as a symbol of love now lost. “I wish you weren’t my sister! And I wish I wasn’t born into this crappy family. I wish you were all dead like daddy!” Jamie shouted. “If you want to leave so badly then leave. Mom’s going to come home soon and I don’t want her to hear any of this. So leave. Just get out of my sight,” Melinda said calmly. But Jamie knew full well that Melinda was only trying to find an excuse to end the argument, for their mother, unable to accept the loss of her beloved, spent a large portion of her day away from home, away from the faces that reminded her so much of her late husband. “Wait, tell me where you’re going” Melinda said. “To a friend’s house. Bye!” Jamie said hastily, slamming the front door behind her before her sister had the chance to ask another question. “All I’ve ever wanted to do is to protect her. But I’ve done everything that I could possibly,” Melinda said with a heavy sigh.
When Melinda woke up the next day, she found her sister sitting silently on the sofa and trembling all over. “Jamie, are you cold? Do you want me to get you a blanket?” Melinda asked. “Please just leave me alone, ok?” Jamie implored. “Well, take care of yourself then. I’m going to work now,” her sister replied. “Did Hector report it to the police? Would they call? Would I be arrested?” Jamie thought frantically. “Oh, I can’t believe I hit him with that bottle! I can’t believe I almost killed him!” The memory of last night’s incident consumed her mind, stabbing her alive as she groaned in agony. After she had left the house, she went to a party hosted by her friend. What had started off as an innocent night later became a haunting nightmare. She knew something was not right the moment she entered into the apartment. A great cloud of smoke floated in the air, threatening to suffocate anyone who dared to venture into the dark and foul place. Some people were dancing to some ear-splitting music while others were trying to drink themselves to sleep. It was hard, almost impossible, to find her boyfriend in the crowd of people, in the engulfing darkness. Then she saw him. And not only him. She watched as their lips met and their tongues intertwined; she stood there breathless as the pain of betrayal swallowed her whole and produced in her heart a thirst for revenge. Then she picked up one of the empty alcohol bottle. The next thing she knew, Hector was on the floor, screaming and swearing and beating the air. Nobody paid any attention. “Hector, pull yourself together! Stop drinking so much if you can’t handle it,” someone said.
“Jamie, what exactly are you up to? Have you been sitting there the whole time I was gone?” Melinda asked. No reply. Jamie’s bloodshot eyes were cold and expressionless; her hands were shaking to an unsteady rhythm; and she was moving her mouth slightly, muttering some unintelligible words. Although they were only a few steps away from each other, Melinda felt that there was an unbridgeable gulf separating them and that she was slowly letting go of her sister’s hand. There had always been the hope of seeing her sister repent, but even this faint hope was beginning to torment her and drive her to the state of insanity. She wished that everything was just a dream and that she would wake up the next day in their cottage with her mother baking blueberry muffins, her father working in the farm, and her sister laughing at her stories and jokes. She didn’t want to take her mother’s role and be responsible for the family; she just wanted to be herself. Overwhelmed with confusion and desire, she looked at herself in the mirror in a desperate attempt to rediscover herself and grasp her true identity. Her straight black hair was, as usual, tied into a tight bun because she didn’t like how the hairstylist had layered it. Even though everybody else liked the way she looked with her hair down, she still preferred to tie it into a bun. “It would be so nice if I could do that with everything. Just tie them up and not have to think about it anymore,” she thought. She laughed, her enormous brown eyes alight with contentment. Her cell phone rang at that moment, intruding on her thoughts and demanding her immediate attention. It was Erin on the other end of the phone. They had been acquainted through a mutual friend two days earlier. Erin was struggling with some spiritual doubts and needed to confide in someone. A devoted believer and a gifted counsellor, Melinda could see no harm in helping the distressed soul. After they had talked for a while and arranged their next meeting, they bid their farewell.
Melinda now turned her attention to Jamie, who was staring straight at her with her beady eyes, and searched her mind for the right words to say, words that would heal and not hurt. “Jamie, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me. Please tell me what’s bothering you,” Melinda said. “Why even bother, Mel? You wouldn’t understand anyway. I mean you’re Miss Perfect and you’ve got everything that I’ve only been able to dream of. You’ve got musical talent, a charming personality, tons of friends, a good job, and the list just goes on and on,” Jamie said sourly. The room was filled with silence now except for the gentle tickling of the kitchen clock. Perhaps silence had been their worst enemy for many odd years, but it was undoubtedly their best friend at this moment. It stretched its long endless fingers and wrapped them around the girls, providing them with a temporary refuge and some valuable time for reflection. Sensing the fresh calmness that now reigned in the room, Melinda began to speak. “Listen Jamie, you don’t have to be jealous of me. We’ve always shared everything and I see myself no better than you. Everyone has his/her own troubles but some people are just better at hiding them than others. Believe me, there’s nothing better than being yourself,” Melinda said. “I think we’re both tired. Let’s just go to bed now.” Melinda got up from the sofa and made her way to her bedroom. She turned around to look at her sister one last time before closing the door behind her and leaving her sister alone and abandoned.
The phone rang. “Hello?” Jamie said, placing the phone on her injured shoulder. “Jamie, I know it was you last night. You know you nearly killed me? If you don’t come out to see me right now, I’ll call the police. And I mean what I say,” Hector threatened. “What do you want from me?” Jamie said. “Hector, I’m through with you, you hear that?” “If you don’t come out right now, you’re through. Baby, I’m giving you one last chance before I have to get the police to kick your ass. Do you understand what I’m saying?” Hector snapped. “Stop threatening me, will you? I’ll go get my bike. Meet me at the old place,” Jamie said. Instinctively, she walked towards her sister’s room to ask for permission to leave the house. But she stopped halfway, deciding that it would be better to keep this a secret, just this once. Afraid to disturb her sister’s sleep, she had the back door open only wide enough for her body to squeeze through. It was a bitter cold night with unrelenting, strong wind blowing from all directions, and the streets were empty and deserted. Jamie stood momentarily in front of the train track and watched the evening train as it chugged pass her and rattled into the nearby station. After every dispute with her sister, she would run out gasping for air and stand for a long time listening to the low rumbling of the train. Calming her distressed heart, its peaceful melody and steady rhythm gave her enough hope to endure the darkness and live to see the next day. She had nothing to hide here. As she thought of her sister’s pained expression and swollen eyes, scalding tears blinded her eyes and trickled down her round flushed face. One day she had contemplated throwing herself onto the train tracks and ending her life here; it was the thought of her sister’s loving face that had saved her.
After spending a few more minutes in serious reflection, she rode her bike to the community park where she would meet Hector. She looked at her watch. “He should be here any minute now,” Jamie thought. “Baby, there you’re! It’s awfully hard to find you in the dark,” Hector greeted her. “I thought you were mad at me. Didn’t you threaten to call the police?” “If I hadn’t say that, would you have come out to see me?” “I guess not. Seriously, after what happened that night, I never want to see you again. How could you betray me like that?” Jamie said, swinging a fist lightly at his chest. “Look, I may have made a mistake or two. But can’t you just give me a second chance? I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again,” Hector said. “Why should I believe you? How would you feel if it was you who’d been betrayed? If it was me who had kissed another guy right in front of your stinking face?” Jamie retorted. “Hector, please just get out of my sight. When I said we’re through, I meant we’re through.” Suddenly a dreadful commotion broke out by the train tracks. “Jamie, do you hear that?” Hector said. “Of course I hear that. Hey, I’m going to ride back to see what happened. It’s usually pretty quiet in our neighbourhood.” Melinda laid on the crooked train track, motionless and in intense agony, waiting for the paramedics to arrive but, more desperately, for the last chance to see her sister’s face. Every breath that she took was a torture, filled with excruciating pain, and every breath could be her last.
Everything had happened so quickly like it was all a dream. One second she had been running around in search of her sister and the next second she found herself lying on the train track, the unfortunate victim of a train collision. “I can’t die here. I need to find Jamie. My little sister, where are you?” Melinda thought. She could no longer feel her body, let alone instruct it to move. The icy wind cut right through her and penetrated her frail body; a layer of dust covered her tear-stained face and her body like a thin blanket. She struggled to keep her eyes open, for they were starting to feel very tired and becoming too heavy for her. The crowd of people, which had gathered around her, was a blur to her now. Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice, a cry of desperation. “Mel! Mel! Can you hear me? You can’t leave me like this…you can’t! Please don’t do this to me. I promise to change; I promise to make things better. Please just give me a second chance,” Jamie pleaded. Melinda began to move her lips, indicating that she wanted to say her last words. Jamie leaned over until her body was touching her sister’s wet body. Her sister’s chest was still rising and falling but at an awkward pace, and she could hear the heavy breathing of her sister, each breath a burden, each breath more painful than the last. With her remaining strength, Melinda held her sister’s hand tightly and said, “We don’t always get a second chance, Jamie. Especially to life. This pain is nothing compared to the pain from within. I love you and I just don’t want to lose you.”
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