Distracted In Love

My muscles stiffened when I realized the topic he changed to. I knew I wasn’t ready for it, how could he bring this up? What exactly was he planning on doing? Did he want me for me or for what he could get out of me?

“Sameer, we’ve talked about this before…” My eyes were stiff, looking at every inch of his face for a response.

“Yeah, on the phone a very long time ago. I’m not saying that I’m calling you to this. But you’re not ready, and honestly, I’m not either. The last thing I would ever think of doing is push you…”

“Yes, but, why bring it up?” Now my mouth hung open. I felt stupid.

“Well, because…you seemed…so into the moment.” He chuckled

“You should have seen the look on your face when I carried you to the bed. And your unstable breathing, I wasn’t…”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” For the first time tonight, I wasn’t looking at him. I wasn’t sure what I was looking at, but my breathing? What was wrong with it? Was I breathing uneven again? Did my breath smell? I would have thought if it was that, he would have stopped all this before we even got to the bed. He wouldn’t flat out tell me to embarrass me.

“Listen, all I want from you is happiness, always. We might have arguments and I pray that never goes far, but I love it when you smile and I don’t ever want to see a moment when you’re not smiling.”

He closed my mouth with his hand and brought my lips closer to his. The electric shock I felt between our lips engulfed me. I didn’t want to release myself away, not like I could, but there was something I needed to say. I felt obligated to finish this short, yet elaborate discussion.

“Thank you,” I said as I buried my face under his chin and whiffed in deeply his heavenly unique smell. “But I knew you wouldn’t rush me into anything. I trust you.”

He gave out a musically warm and enchanting hum under the mysterious smile that I loved so much and hugged me tighter. He kissed the top of my head and ran his fingers through my hair. We lay there, embracing the moment. I listened to the whistling wind gently caress the night outside. I closed my eyes to inhale the silence of the moment, to inhale his scent of manliness. I found it difficult to concentrate on anything but the symphony of Sameer’s breathing which felt like drizzle through my hair.

Distracted from everything, I could only hear the rhythmic breathing of the man who lay beside me. It was the only thing that I wanted to hear, the sound that made my heart beat faster.